JEWISH HISTORY MONTH

Even though we own all the papers,
television stations, Wall Street and
the banks, we need our own month.
We killed Christ so this won’t be easy.

We’ve gone steady with the Nobel
since Einstein, but we still need
a month off for Jewish pride—
Lenny Bernstein’s shnozz,

Madeline Albright’s dyed Jewish roots,
Joe Buck and Tim Mc Carver
saying over and over again
Sandy Koufax was the best pitcher ever.

While they’re at it, they can throw in
Chanukah beats Christmas.
We need to broadcast
The Ten Commandments

on Shavuot as well as Easter Sunday.
Open all the water parks
on Memorial Day, Bugs Bunny
at Six Flags’ will part the Red Sea.

We need a month off from dread,
a month off from atonement, a month
of PBS specials without fundraisers.
We need to make Sh’mini Atzeret

a national holiday and keep it holy.
We need a month of Myron Cohen,
Buddy Hackett, Joan Rivers,
a month of Jewish pastry,

greasy latkes, luckshin kugel,
a month of Manischewitz wines,
Don Rickles, we need time off to watch
dough rise on Passover, ti me off

to eat pork, time off to catch lobsters
trying to run away from us down
the narrow streets of Manhattan’s
Lower East Side, a season for jumbo

shrimp cooked with kosher chicken,
a month of Saturdays with all lights
and appliances flicked on,
a month without Shabbos goys,

a guilt-free month of Porsche,
Mercedes and BMW,
a month of big American cars.
Our time will come and go.

Bob Rosenbloom

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